A message from God.

Hello everybody. This is the almighty speaking.
As you may, or may not now, the Heaven is a limited space. And so is Hell. To put it bluntly, we are running out of space here. But fear not, your all knowing father has a solution! According to my divine calculations, there are just and just enough room in both Heaven and Hell to occupy the whole population in earth! But the population is increasing, and so is the amount of deceased, which your bad habit of slaughtering yourselves rather than prolonging your life isn't helping at all.

Therefore, I must ask you, my children, to kill yourselves. Wipe yourselves off the planet as soon as possible, so there is enough space in here and Hell to spend the eternity in.

I apologize for this request. I would do it by myself but as you well know that after the great flood I was foolish enough to promise not to kill humans or animals anymore. And Satan says he has better things to do, like fuc... I mean, fornicating with the devils. I have to remember that cursing is a sin. And so is sex. No sex in Heaven. Remember that, kids!



- Your God of platonic love,
Big G.