Whoah. My feminist mom almost forced me to blog how all men are nothing but a little help in baby making and the ones with bad genes should be castrated. And kept as pets and workhorses.

Okay, I lied. My mom doesn't speak english, so there's little chance she'll find out how demented her only son is. Except she already knows. Right.

I shall continue about penises now. Now, where were I? Oh, yeah. I was telling you guys how you shouldn't worry about the size of your penis. Women really don't give a shit. The only thing they care about, is how you use it. And how you use the rest of your body! Let's keep the women's anatomy in mind here. With us guys, the only 'erotic zone' is our penis. Nothing else matters, as long as the penis feels good. Now with women... Women are much difficult. They have those boobies. Nipples. Highly erotic zones. Some women can even come by only fondling their nipples, and many get close! And then there's the clit. The clitoris is actually atrophic penis, but try not to think of that while having sex. Unless you're a bisexual or something. Anyway, that's the sex spot. Forget the mythological G-spots, if the scientists have troubles finding those, chances are that you won't find them either. Clitoris is much easier to find. Im not going to post a picture here, you should've watched enough porn to know where one is. It's just above the hole, okay? Now, I believe, if you find a way to fondle the clitoris while you're screwing her, do it. I have heard that brings them into Heaven. Cock in the hole, fingers on the clit and mouth on the nipples... And you can't go wrong. Don't forget the lips either. Women like kisses, for some odd reason.

But before you get to the action, you should remember foreplay. Chicks need foreplay. It's waste of time to us men, I know, but women are like ovens... You gotta heat them up before stuffing the meat in. The price of this hassling is, that even when you turn the oven off, it still remains hot for a long time! I'll get to this in a moment. Okay, now foreplay is, basically, showing to your girl how much you want her. Now it's time to forget those stupid dating rules. Go ahead and let your lusty look glance over her mammaries, those wide hips, and then slowly into her eyes... Give her a smug grin to let her know that you're a bull on stroids and you'll take her even if her father would step in with a shotgun. And then start fondling... Have a good feel of those previously mentioned erotic zones and see how she reacts. You can either ask her, with a whisper if she'd like to take you inside, or just wait until she reaches for your penis. Also, let the women undress you, so you can undress her.

Also, while having sex, listen to her body, the shakes the moans... Find what she likes the best. Women are invidual, some like your tongue on their breasts, some prefer hands, for example. If she leads your hands somewhere, take the hint.

Righto. That's all I have read about the mating habits of humans. Here are some important tips.

For men: Don't squeeze the breasts too hard. Have fun playing with them, but leave the glass breaking squeezes off.

Secondly... If the woman comes (which is hard to know, because the woman can fake it, unless you know she can ejaculate, and I have told only minority can), don't worry. Like I said, the oven is still hot, although you'd turn it off. The sexual period on women doesn't stop on wall after orgasm as it does for us men, so just keep humping her until you come too. Women are famous of their serial orgasms, so who know, maybe she'll come too.

For women: Jesus, girls, you got it easy! I can tell you, you have to screw up alot to prevent the man from coming. There are two things though... First one is the sac. The balls. Treat them right, and they can be a source of extreme enjoyment for the man... Treat them wrong, and the pleasure turns to pain. Real pain. The man's balls are like his ego. Treat them with silky gloves. And for God's sake, don't crush them! Picture them like eyeballs in a sac. Cup them, GENTLY, and lick them, but don't squeeze. Unless you know for sure your man is a masochist. Then it's another story.

Okay, that's all. Next time I enlighten you why in earth men like porn where the guy is bigger than he is.

Secondly, be a woman. Not a pump-up doll! Move, moan, grab his ass, do whatever, as long as you don't just lay there and let the man do all the work! Otherwise the guy thinks it'd be better to have sex with someone else.

Feel free to reply to this topic, correct me, or be a certain friend of me, called Sap, and tell me that I don't know a shit about this since im a virgin. And possibly tell me how much you have gotten laid. Or something. I read them all.