The Great Outdoor Fight

Achewood's another great storyline has come to an end. In my opinion, The Great Outdoor Fight storyline wasn't so good than Cartilage Head, the man of drama who probably permanently traumatized poor Ray. The storyline is longer than Cartilage Head, and it's hard to say where it begins. Probably when Todd comes over and creates a business with Ray. Turns out they'll be selling fake nuts for cellphones. Out of nowhere, Ray gets a call from her mother who has heard that his son has a new business with Todd, and asks what they're selling. Ray panicks and thinks it's not a good idea to tell the truth. He makes a hastly lie and when his mother comes over, he offers her a dinner. Ray's plan works and his mother doesn't mention the business, instead starts talking about Ray's father while Ray, interested, offers her more Chablis.

I suppose that's where the actual storyline begins. So go read it if you haven't already.

In any case, when I saw the URL where Ray finds out more about The Great Outdoor Fight, I thought that damn, somebody is going to get that URL for sure. I checked it out, and nobody had registered it this time.

Today I checked it up again... And look what I found. The address is registered by an Achewood fan, who created a wikipedia site on it about the Great Outdoor Fight. I don't know is that either crazy or wise. Probably both.

Shadowcove

I sent my application to Shadowcove II, an UO shard. This is the e-mail I got from them:

Hello,
Thank you for your interest in playing Shadowcove at Player Realms. We have considered your application. Unfortunately, we must inform you that it is our belief that Shadowcove would not be the shard for you.
There are a great many shards out there on which you can play, whose systems are more open and accepting of all different sorts of play styles. We encourage you to seek them out. Toward that end, here are some suggestions:
First, you may want to try out the listing at Game Sites 200's Ultima Online list. This can be found at:
http://www.gamesites200.com/ultimaonline/
There are many great, reliable, interesting and unique shards there. Another option to try is to download UO Gateway, and view the extensive list there:
http://www.uogateway.com/
We also have a few suggestions of shards whose quality we can generally vouch for. You may find one of these shards to your liking!
-Ackadia (http://www.blogger.com/www.ackadia.org)
Ackadia is a long-running community based shard with a custom map, and a unique player-policing system.
-Comraich (http://www.blogger.com/www.sanctuaryshard.com)
Comraich is a role-playing shard with a tight-knit community, a custom map, and a deeply developed history.
-Metropolis (http://www.blogger.com/www.metropolisshard.com)
Metropolis is a larger-sized PvP/PK/PvM shard with a very open and relaxed environment, and a high-quality, reliable setup.
-Angel Island (http://www.blogger.com/www.game-master.net)
A shard with a unique approach to Murderers, with a slightly smaller-scale feel to it than some large shards. By Adam Ant
-Defiance (http://www.blogger.com/www.defianceuo.com)
A large-scale, multi-shard European-based network.
Once again, thank you for your interest. We wish you luck finding an exciting and enjoyable place to play!

-Player Realms Staff

A brief chat in IRC where a guy named Joey told me to sent a witty reply back at them. According to his suggestions, this what I replied:

Hello,
Thank you for your interest in me playing Shadowcove at Player Realms. I have reviewed your application to have me as a player. Unfortunately, I must inform you that Shadowcove is not up to my standards.
There are many great players there on which can pay to play, whose standards are much more open and accepting all kinds of shards. I encourage you to seek them out. Toward that end, here are some suggestions:
First you may want to cheat your shard up to TOP 10 in the listing at Game Site's 200 UO list. This can be found at:
http://www.gamesites200.com/ultimaonline/
But then again, you already did!
There are many annoying, unreliable and boring players out there. Another option is to stay the hell out of UOGateway, because they have quality standards.
http://www.uogateway.com
Once again, thank you for your interest. I wish you luck finding boring and nagging players to play!
If I knew your address, I'd mail you a punch in the face!

Unfortunetly...



Player Realms Contact Response
Hello;
You have written to an unattended e-mail account. To contact the staff at Player Realms, use the following URL:
http://www.player-realms.com/cnr.asp
Future messages you send to this e-mail address may not get this response - they will simply be deleted.
Thank you!

Betty Boop

Betty Boop - The only cartoon character who looks better without her head.

I always fantasize about headless Betty Boop riding a My Little Pony. She'd knock three times on your door with a scary echo, and when you'd open it she'd ask "Have you seen my hideously ugly head lying around in here?" Then you'd say, "Well, shit, no. I wouldn't like you giving me head." Otherwise she'd tie you in a chair, do some striptease and finger play to make you horny enough to pop. Then, suddenly she'd grow her hideously ugly head and give you some fellatio, ruining your mood and giving you permenent emotional traumas. And possibly a heart attack.

My contact information

Due my reply in http://forum.dofus.com/topic_en.php?id=14174 I will now tell you my contact information.

First of all, I'd like to tell you my e-mail address, however I cannot because of the spam spiders and crawlers. Instead, you have to do with my snailmail address.

Mr. Sue Atire
En ymmärrä 1221
74578 huumoria
FINLAND

Pay attention to the address. Remember the little spots on the ä's.

Links

Okay, I forgot to add some links to the last post. Might as well give them now.

http://www.dofus.com/en/ - The webpage of DoFus. "A strategical MMORPG", or would so it be if the players actually cared about strategy.

http://forum.dofus.com/topic_en.php?id=14174 - The DoFus forum post I made. It's the same as the post down below, but this one has some interesting replies - urging me to "stick around" and "post more" of my adventures. I don't know, it feels like in the bar where your friend is encouraging you to drink more than you should. Deep inside you know it's stupid, but you do it anyway because you feel like you have to prove something.

http://www.fat-pie.com - David Firth's webpage about his... Art. You know, Salad Fingers? Yea. You'll find out that he has done alot of other flash cartoons than the popular Salad Fingers. And some of them are actually more twisted and disturbing than Salad Fingers. That was a warning.

DoFus report

Hello. I have played this game two or three days now. Although that's nowhere near enough to make an extensive analyzation of this multiplayer game, I feel my stay might get a bit short because of the upcoming Elder Scrolls: Oblivion game, and because... Well, just read on.

After I completed the "newbie tutorial", I was eager to try the combat system. I quickly got hang of it, and then I got my first PVP request! I didn't know you could PVP! I immediately clicked "Agree", almost sure that the oppenent is at least five levels higher than me. Turns out, he was only one level higher! In other words, lvl 3.

The match was exciting, and this cat character possessed some long range attack, and used it against my Scarcie or whatever that masochist character is called. I didn't have any long range attack, so he could've easily beaten me by just staying far away enough from my attacks and showering me with his long range attack. However, he didn't realize this until I had gotten close enough and then it was too late. Poor cat got his ass kicked by yours truly, who had serious problems to not to type some cheeky one-liner before his fatal strike.

I won! I actually won! I was eager to take rematch now that he knows my character's abilities, thus resulting a match I would most probably to lose but I couldn't find him anymore. Turns out the characters who lost a battle get warped somewhere else.

Oh well, I was very glad of my win and my virtual penis had grown by four inches. Next, I was going to kill a little blue bird. Pathetic, I know, but I was bored. As I was positioning my character, two other characters popped in. Three against one bird? Well, at least I'd be able to fight with team mates now, although I knew the bird couldn't provide much of a challenge.
The other team mate went after the bird, while the other said "hi". I was not in the mood for a chit chat now, so I didn't reply, instead moved my character. "hi" he said again, and this time he attacked me! I thought that maybe he thinks im a bot so I smacked back at him. "sorry" says he. (Note the subject's lack of intelligence to form proper, full sentences here.) Fine, I said. I let it pass. "thx" was the reply. Now, im not very good at netspeak, the language what the race of Homo Semi Sapiens seem to talk, but I supposed it meant "thanks".

Turns out that I was either wrong, showed him my weakness, replied in the wrong way or something, but he attacked me again. Perhaps I just had unknowingly confirmed a formal challenge. Or perhaps this was a mating ritual, afterall there was this other guy there. Maybe he saw me as a rival and attacked me to make an impression to the other guy. (They were both male characters, but we all know that homosexuality is quite common in this race of subhumans because of the lack of females.) Whatever was the case, we fought. During the fight he kept saying "hi noob" which I think means same as "babo kekeke~~!" which the Korean subhumans used in Lineage before killing the other person. However, the other guy who didn't seem to mind this all killed the bird before the other killed me so I got out of the battle "unharmed".

This all confused me very much, but so did the next PVP fight I was in. While I was checking my opponents HP, these three other fellows popped in, almost at the same time. So, four guys against one guy. Im not skinhead enough to think that as a fair fight, however the opponent stayed silent, so I proceeded to check the other players... Hmm, they were all around my level, except the bearded guy who's HP was somewhere over three hundred. Bah, whatever, I clicked "ready". The bearded fellow's turn was next. He stepped forward and instantly took the control saying that nobody should move, "just pass" he said. Confusing, but I pondered he was going to cast a spell which harmed only those who moved the in last round. One player though summoned a creature and moved it instead. "no summons! I thought I was prefktly clear abut it" the bearded guy shouted and scolded the player in very bad English, saying he was going to die now. However, at least he used full sentences and didn't use netspeak... Much. Still, my inner bell started ringing! You know this! You have read about it! YES! The bearded man must have Obsessive-Compulsive Personality Disorder! (Ref: http://www.guidetopsychology.com/mpd.htm#2) OH NO! The poor man!

I was in shock too scared to think! I was actually playing with a person with serious mental issues! What can I say to him? Should I say anything? Im not a psychiatrist! However, it was my turn and I casted my protection spell, but didn't move. Apparently, I was partly right about the spell when the bearded guy casted it, only harming us who used their turn. The other guy who got from the spell thought differently, and used his turn to attack the bearded guy! "WHAT!?" the mental patient screamed. "WHAT!?" I screamed too in my mind! Don't you know that's exactly what NOT to do to a Obsessive Compulsive person!? He'll turn into a monster! "Now you're all going to die!" the bearded guy shouted, again in very bad english. Yup, I was right. He turned into a wacko. I used my turn to go futher to help the guy (not the bearded man), afterall the damage was already done... The lunatic's worldview was shattered and now he's trying to fix it with the only way he knows... By casting a massive kill-all spell on us, which did what it was meant to.

Now there was only the bearded guy and our opponent who had been wisely silent the whole time. Perhaps he was busy laughing his ass off. Most of the other my dead teammates logged off, not bothering to watch the fight. I, however, was too intrigued to do that. What if, although the possibility is near zero, our opponent wins? It'd totally destroy the poor man's illusion of reality and perhaps drive him to a suicide! Too bad it didn't happen. As suspected, the bearded man won. However, each time the opponent made damage to the bearded guy, he comforted the man by making smileys! That non-literal communication what ever the madman cannot take in the wrong way! Splendid! He sure knew how to deal with lunatics! I admire this man.

After that... Intriguing, yet depressing indicent I went to make some quests. The quests, basically were "kill that thing" or "bring me this" or both... How very orginal. Not. In any case, my mission was "bring 10 spider legs to this miner guy" So, that what I was doing. Camping and waiting for the spiders to pop in. That worked fine. Also, this time I was smart enough not to preposition my character and click the ready button as fast as I can to prevent unwanted Homo Semi-Sapiens popping in. Unfortunetly, one of them managed to get in, perhaps by accident... And proceeded to kill me. Too bad that I got the loot. That must've pissed him off.
I end my report here. Im not sure if I ever want to play this game again. Surely, humans suffering from mental diseases and the race of Homo Semi Sapiens can be quite interesting, but im not Dian Fossey, who lived 18 years with gorillas. Besides, wasn't she murdered?

Meanwhile in IRC...

* Now talking in #lesbians
* Topic is 'Is big booty bad?'
* ManWithShatteredSelfConfidence has joined #lesbians
ManWithShatteredSelfConfidence: I HAVE A BIGGER PENIS THAN ANY OF YOU!
* ManWithShatteredSelfConfidence has left #lesbians
DaisyDyke: I think I have a bigger one on my nightstand.

Sims go make business

Fatboy has informed me that he does not want to read about my penis. Alright fine, let's blog about him instead. Apparently he came to the conculsion that the latest Sims 2 add-on is actually good and doesn't spoil the gameplay like the others.

The new Sims 2 addon adds businesses, where your sim can go to work. Yay. So fatboy went and made his sim a brothel. A lesbian brothel because we know he's afraid of penises.

So you can make a brothel in the newest add-on. That'll make Jack Thompson very happy, im sure.

[Grammar edited]

A childhood memory

I remember being in public sauna when I was 10 or something. Anyway, in case some non-finnish people are reading this, in the finnish sauna, even in the public ones, you are buck naked. I remember walking to the showers when this man with very strange penis walks past me. I briefly looked up at his face and then stared at his ding dong. I suppose he was one of those people suffering from too tight foreskin and had recently circumized. The shaft was thin like it has been squeezed for too long and it had some white stuff around it. Like some bacterial infection.

It was just disgusting. Makes me wonder why I remember this... Anyway, I remember getting afraid that I'll get some penile illness when I grow up. That my penis won't turn out right. Well, that didn't happen. It was bent to left a lil bit when I was in my teens, but now it has straightened out.

Psychonauts

Psychonauts t0t411y pwnz. That said, it's a platformer. Different kind of platformer. Think of Rayman with psionic powers. With good amount of Grim Fandango mixed in.

Gah, just let me put it this way... The game is produced by Tim Schafer, the man behind Full Throttle and Grim Fandago. So if you liked those games, you'll like Psychonauts. Interesting characters, twisted game atmosphere and clever jokes, it's all there.

There are only two things in the game I didn't like.

One, it was too short. I felt graving for more after I played it, but I suppose that's a good thing.
And two, the automatic targetting system didn't always work. But that wasn't too bad.

The game is rather easy though, although I got stuck in a few parts... Mainly because this was the first 3D platformer I have ever played.

The voice acting is awesome. The animation is awesome. The graphics overall are awesome, although you'd say that they don't have enough polygons what games nowadays have, but frankly, I don't give a crap.

9 points out of 10 to this game, since no game is perfect in my eyes.

Also, here's an in-depth review: http://www.ugo.com/channels/games/features/psychonauts/review.asp to which I agree.