Welp, we won!

LORDI WON YAAYYY!!!!

And not only that, the band broke the Eurovision's point record with 292 points! And the point record of semifinals too! Or so I heard.

The first victory for Finland, ever. For 40 years we have been in ESC (=Eurovision Song Contest), never tasting the sweet victory. But it changed now, thanks to Lordi and all who voted for him and his band!

The monsterman was stoic as ever when the vote counting kept going on with Finland staying number 1. He only wrote one liners to signs and kept drinking Pepsi Max. I wasn't that calm, nor was the rest of Finland, although the band urged us to stay calm in one of their signs.

Thanks Lordi, for once im proud of my country.

The dilemmas of a virgin slut

The only blog worth reading. Besides mine: http://virgin-slut.blogspot.com/

I vote for Lordi

Eurovision 2006 is coming up. I have long known that Eurovision is just corrupted, political show business which has nothing to do with music. Every country votes for their neighbour countries, countries with political ties between each other or countries who voted for them the last time. Music really doesn't matter. After the Eurovision's glory days, when the competing was fair and every country voted for the music instead of the country itself, the singers have been either rip-offs of some American band (Russia, 2002), national singers singing songs they never have sung (Finland), or just singers with awfully broken english (the rest).

And all of them sing pop, hymns, dance songs, or whatever and are dressed fancily in black suits or beautiful dresses. But who cares, when nobody votes for the music anyway. You're there for your 15 minutes of Euro fame and everybody knows the country with most political ties is going to win.

But perhaps in the upcoming Eurovision it's going to change! Why? Because Finland has done the impossible and instead of a middle aged, boring tango singer in black suit, we are going to bring in Lordi!

As the picture shows, this band is quite unorthodox. Instead of being another tango band in fancy suits singing pop songs, they play the good old heavy rock with all those masks and demonic clothing on, maxed out with pyrotechnics! Fire, brimstone and explosions! Image this in the Eurovision!

How did Lordi manage to get to the semifinals? Who would vote for Lordi?

Three kinds of people. The real fans of Lordi, the fans of heavy rock and finally the haters of Eurovision. Just look at them. Lordi is so unorthodox that he has become somekind of anti-hero of Eurovision. Those who protest the Eurovision will vote for Lordi, just because he and his music are so different. We want someone to shake up the corruption of Eurovision and Lordi is going to do it for us, no matter if he won or not.

I vote for Lordi. And watch the Eurovision contest just because of him.

Gay gas

I thought I should share this amazing piece of old finnish literature with you guys and possible gals. And no, I don't mean Kalevala. I mean the GAY GAS!

The secret police picks very early those who, by the assignment by the
Roman church, are going to be made homosexualists. The victim does not know,
that he is under special treatment. For example, they began to feed me
homo-chemicals, when I was 12 to 14 years old. I know this, because before that,
I liked to perform in school festivals, boy scout camps and congregation
meetings. But then, performing became physically difficult. My throat ached
continuously. Simultaneously, they start to insinuate, that the victim has "bad
nerves", so that he wouldn't realize, that the poison causes those "bad nerves".
I believed this almost 40 years. I truly believed, that there was something
wrong in my nerves.Poisons also make it difficult to control facial muscles.When
you fall in love for the first time, the slight tension caused by the poisons
makes controlling facial muscles difficult, so you don't dare to visit the girl
at all, when you know, that instead of a smile you could show an agonizing
grimace, due the poisons.In the youth, your life is organized in other ways
besides poisoning. When I was 22 years, in England, in a two-year boarding
school, my girlfriend sat in such a place, that when we left the classroom, we
had to walk side by side in the corridor. That was a recurring agony, because,
due the poisons, smiling and all other communication was difficult. The purpose
of this was, of course, to make the presence of a girl difficult, and to seek
company from boys. I did have male friends, but never in the bed.
.....

Poisons cause hours of tension in genitals. I can't guess now, what is the
meaning of that. I didn't have any "sins of the youth", if you can call those a
sin. The humans would be a very sinful race then.

Roman Catholic church spreading homosexuality? Do you know what this remains me of? THE CHICK TRACTS! This guy must be the notarious Jack T. Chick!

It's officially summer now

Because I just started barbequing.

Useless blog post I know.

The Sagara Family

I read this was the top 1 hentai game in Europe and/or USA. I don't remember which. Non asian countries anyway. Whatever it's a truth or a lie, I can imagine why non-asian hentai gamers like this game.

For once, there are no nekos, demons or dickgirls. Just normal girls. But that's the only good thing I can find from this game. It's horribly cliché. Okay, most hentai games are, but this is even more.

The cliché background: You are Yusuke, aka the hentai guy who's eyes are never shown. Just with a different name. Turns out that your father, who knows where he is, has asked his friend to put you up at their place while you're attending the school. Naturally, the house is full of girls - a young, widowed mother and her surprisingly old daughters.

The cliché characters:

Maria: The widowed mother. Works as a nurse (surprise, surprise). She's the only one not being harrassed by perverts. However, if you choose her, you can be her pervert! Plus, you get to fuck her twice, no matter to which of her daughter's you're committed to. Oh, and her "route" is the only route which can lead to bad ending. If you really screw up. I mean, majorly. Like every hentai girl, she has a S&M kink.

Arisa: The oldest daughter. Younger version of the above. Even with the same occupation, of course. She's supposed to be 22, where Maria is 38. So Maria got her in the ripe age of 16. Interesting. Arisa's route has more sex scenes, probably to make up the lack of character, and her pervert is a molesting boss. Oh, and when you wed this fine young lady, Maria tells you never to use condoms when having sex with her daughter. Remember that kids? Never use condoms! Now I know why Japan is so overcrowded.

Sanae: Sanae is the tomboy. 20. As all hentai tomboys, she beats up the main character alot, with or without reason. Likes to be on top according to the sex scenes. I probably don't even have to mention that she's a redhead. Gets molested in crowded areas quite often and is the only one who can defend herself, Maria exluded. Works as a waitress. So cliché that she makes me barf.

Emiru: Quiet geek girl, or so you'd think. Actually she's a closet cosplayer who mourns over her father's death more than anybody else in the family. Cosplayer, as in the lovely perverse Japanese way. Turns out to be quite a frikking nuisance once you start hitting on her. But at least she doesn't have a stalker like the other girls. 19. Student.

Ruruka: Ruruka is actually the most interesting character. Interesting in a way that the importer's website (Peach Princess) tells me that's she's 18. Then how come that when you choose Ruruka's route, the main character is always afraid of getting caught with his girlfriend and sent to jail? And that she's being stalked by a pedophile? And that she's flatchested, but after four years she's all the way to C cups? Anyway, Ruruka has the most personality and not so cliché. Except for her age. Her sex scenes are the most funniest, if you can block out the fact that she's underaged.

The game is very long and gives 11 different kind of endings. The harem ending included, which you get from completing all the routes.

You probably want some more fun facts about the game, so here goes:

- The sweat is yellow. No, really.
- There is a watersport scene. But a very mild one. Of course, if the "sweat" is what I think it is, then there are many, many other watersport scenes.
- Japanese guys are all crazy about ripping a girl's hymen with their penis, so you can see blood when you screw the girls for the first time.
- ZRRRR!!! sound is still there, but only once.
- Masturbating is spelled wrong, every time.
- The girls like to shout out "Ooh! You're pulling my insides out!" when having sex. A real turn-on im sure.
- In Ruruka route, the main character thinks out loud that Ruruka is Maria's only 'real' daughter. That confuses me.
- All the girls are nymphomaniacs, but I should've seen that coming.

The verdict? I like the previous hentai game more than this. This game is just so boring. Like all hentai/love sims. Or should I say powerpoint presentations...

Learn to swear in finnish

http://www.insultmonger.com/swearing/finnish.htm (porn banners)

So why don't you go there and draw a cunt over your head?

And yes, Satan is a swearword in finnish. God knows why. Go ask him you puppet pants.

A message from God.

Hello everybody. This is the almighty speaking.
As you may, or may not now, the Heaven is a limited space. And so is Hell. To put it bluntly, we are running out of space here. But fear not, your all knowing father has a solution! According to my divine calculations, there are just and just enough room in both Heaven and Hell to occupy the whole population in earth! But the population is increasing, and so is the amount of deceased, which your bad habit of slaughtering yourselves rather than prolonging your life isn't helping at all.

Therefore, I must ask you, my children, to kill yourselves. Wipe yourselves off the planet as soon as possible, so there is enough space in here and Hell to spend the eternity in.

I apologize for this request. I would do it by myself but as you well know that after the great flood I was foolish enough to promise not to kill humans or animals anymore. And Satan says he has better things to do, like fuc... I mean, fornicating with the devils. I have to remember that cursing is a sin. And so is sex. No sex in Heaven. Remember that, kids!



- Your God of platonic love,
Big G.

Wii

Okay, in case you haven't heard of it... Nintendo Revolution = Nintendo Wii.
Yea. Wii. I don't know care what they say, it only sounds cool if you're japanese.
Hakaze muze ni kazu raku Wii? - Do you want to play some games with my Wii?

Nintendo says we will get used to it. In matter of fact, Fatboy has already said it makes sense to him if you really think of it, and it actually sounds good. However, this was 2 am when even flying cows make sense if you really think about it.

On another news, I just played another hentai game, The Sagura Family. More of that later. Oh yea, and Oblivion review is still waiting... Ah, so many things to do.

But if you really want my opinion about Oblivion... It's better than Morrowind, but the exact opposite. It's not really worth of the 60-50 bucks they ask for it though, so if you like to buy games, wait until it's like... $40, at least. Or 35 €.