Hi. Today we talk about porn. Porn for girls to be exact.

First we ask the age old question... Do girls watch porn? The answer is yes. Some don't, which means they only read erotic novels. Why they read erotic novels? Two things... The first is that there's no porn for women. Secondly, because of foreplay. You know foreplay, the boring act what women like? No guys, taking a girl to your home is not foreplay. Sorry.

The world needs porn for women. And yes, there is a screaming market for this. It's just nobody to have the balls to do it. Maybe they don't know how. Well, let me tell you. First of all, it needs foreplay, as I have already said. And romance. First romance. Then foreplay. Then sex. Like X rated bold and beautiful. Except maybe with more variety. However, that may get soon boring, so it might be good to have some kink. Many girls like bondage. Bondage would be a sure bet. Hell, let me just throw you an example of a porn movie for women I made some time ago.

The movie would be about two rednecks. A husband and a wife. Then there's this sheep. A ram. Then there would be a scene showing how evil the husband is, and that the wife has very warm feelings over the ram. The husband would be evil because he's overly protective over his wife and doesn't let her go anywhere, etc era. Also, he'd be into bondage. Anyway, one day the husband would tie his wife into a basement naked and torture her with rouchy S&M. And then the ram would hear the screams, buck the door in and buck the evil man too. Then the ram would walk to the chained lady, sniff her and snort once, and then hump away. And the lady would scream "Oooh! My saviour! Oooh, aah, ooh!"

....

Would that be too raunchy? I don't think so. Anyway, as this is porn for women, it should be filmed as such. In normal porn they show the moaning woman being humped by the guy. In porn for women, it'd be vise-versa, and the man would be more on the film. It'd show his grimacing face, bulging muscles, and of course the brutal tool of love.

Yeah. That should be for today. As a side note, I was slime mold hunting in the forest, but it was too dry and couldn't find any. Anyway, tomorrow, im going to criticize some webcomics I read... And on Monday, im going to reveal some dirty secrets about myself. Stay tuned. Same bat time, same bat channel.

The link of the week: http://www.mensfashionfreedom.bravehost.com/Store/Skirtpage.htm

Skirts for men. The internet never ceases to amaze me. These are not kilts either, but real micro/mini skirts. Short like hell. Im still stunned by this, so I have only one question... Do you wear panties under those?

After reading today's Achewood, I came to the conculsion of why women wear necklaces.

The simple answer is, to keep men staring at their chest.

Women say they don't like having men staring at their breasts, but that's a lie. Every woman likes when a man notices their breasts. Why do you think they like low cut shirt and dresses? They just don't admit it, because they don't want to sound like sluts.

If you're a man, imagine how you'd feel like if you caught a woman staring at your crotch. Maybe you'd feel a bit ashamed, but most of all, flattered. Why women should feel otherwise? Of course, women never stare at man's crotch, because it'd make them look like sluts. Men don't have this slut stigma, so we could sleep with 5 different women each day before anyone would regonize us as womannizers.

Anyway, back to the subject. Women wear necklaces because they want men to stare their boobs. So, if the woman has A cups, what does she do? She buys a frikking big and/or shiny necklace. Just keep comparing the women's chest to their necklaces, and you will notice that the smaller the bust, the bigger the jewelry.

So, feel free to stare at breasts... As long as you don't have a girlfriend with you like Roast Beef from Achewood had.

As the title says, this is my first entry. If you're reading this, and it's the newest entry, then... Congratulations.

Normally first entries in these blogs are absolute nonsense. You just created a new blog, and you don't know what to say. As a man (yes, im a man) who loves traditions, this blog entry will be no different.

Today, I'll talk about dreams and asshairs.

Have you ever had a dream where you just have to pee? Im sure you have. Then you know that such dreams only occur when your bladder is full in the real life. You have to pee in the real life when you're sleeping, so you have to pee in your dream too. But no matter how much you pee in your dream, your bladder still feels full, and you have to pee again. Sometimes you pee 30 minutes straight, feel sort of relief, but only for a moment... Then the feeling is back. The only way to escape is to wake up and take a leak in the real life. Now, I have had a cough for over two weeks now, and I have seen dreams during that time. But in those dreams I haven't had any cough. So how come that the need of pee goes through your dreams, but something else, like a cough, doesn't? I leave that as a homework to you guys and gals. Post a comment when you know why.

Our next subject is asshairs. Im a dark haired, hairy guy who has asshairs. Not all guys have asshairs, or so I tend to think. Now, let's let the asshairs to be for a while and think of evolution. In evolution, we have lost all those things like tails and second eyelids and fur and stuff what we don't need anymore, right? Then how come we, or some of us men still have asshairs? They aren't useful in any sense, in matter of fact, they're literally a pain in the ass. I spend 3 times more toilet paper because all the shit gets stuck around my asshairs. I have to wipe, wipe and wipe to the point where I give up and grab a shower instead. This really sucks, especially when I have diarrhea. The toilet just gets glogged from all the paper. It's also why I try to avoid using public, or someone else's toilet.

Anyway, the question was why we still have asshairs. The only logical explanation is that in some point, women preferred men with asshairs. And since asshairs weren't so much pain in the ass that it'd threaten our lives, they just got stuck. And that's why we still have asshairs. But this just raises another question... Back in stone age, I doubt they had any toilet paper. And shitty asshairs are hard to wipe into leaves... So maybe the women preferred men with shitty asses?

Okay, I don't want to think this anymore. Im out.

Oh, I forgot something... 21, male, Finland. That's it. Bye.

Well, someone wiser than me gave me an instant response to the asshair problem after I sent my blog address to her:

Shadowseeker (15:52) :
let me tell you what asshairs are good for
Shadowseeker (15:52) :
I let someone shave me compleeeeeetely everywhere once. (everyone has asshairs)
Shadowseeker (15:53) :
without asshairs: buttwiping is much more difficult because there is much more friction
also, walking is unpleasant because your butt rubs together with greater friction.
Shadowseeker (15:53) :
that is all.
Shadowseeker (15:53) :
I would recommend trimming your asshairs as I have never had any of these problems you have, so i presume yours are longer.
Wic (15:55) :
I think I'll cut and paste that to my next blog entry if you don't mind
Shadowseeker (15:55) :
feel free.
Shadowseeker (15:55) :
just don't give me TOO MUCH credit.

Asshair shaving. That was one thing I didn't want to know about women. Just stay the hell away from my razor...
Anyway, yeah. My hairs are at least one inch long. They're also black, so they're very visible. Trimming sounds like a good solution, except I can't really do it by myself, and I really don't have that good friend who I would have balls to ask if she or he would trim my ass. It'd have to be a girlfriend, but I don't have a girlfriend, nor do I know how intimate she'd like to get with my butt. So I think I keep on wiping.

But at least we got a good hypothesis why human kind has asshairs... To reduce friction when walking or wiping! Splendid!