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Looks like I don't have to sell my blog. I can just as well give it away for free.

Jar Jar Binks tongue candy

I know this is old, and that the candy isn't on sale anymore, but still...

http://castle.geek.net/todcra/reviews/000128.html

It's just plain wrong. First they make the most hideous, annoying character ever, and then they release a candy which forces you to suck it's tongue. Im speechless.

Nuts

Okay, shit eating is just disgusting, so I'll blog about my nuts.

Have you noticed that the amount of sperm in your sac affects your mood? It's like when there's two days worth of sperm in my sac, I get really romantic. And when I jerk it all off, I don't feel so romantic anymore. When I have jacked off for one day, I feel aggressive.

Also, the speed how fast I shoot my load affects my mood too. If I jerk off quickly, I feel energic. If I do it with time, then I feel calm and serene. And tired.

I suppose this is because sperm has many hormones, I don't remember the latin names, but they were at least 4-5 of different hormones in sperm. All of them make women feel good and serene like in seventh heaven. Actually, women who don't use condoms in intercouse have smaller chances to get depressed ( http://www.skfriends.com/hormones-semen.htm ).

So, I suppose all you women should just go and whore around without protection. You'll get HIV for sure, but hell, at least you'll die happy!

[edit] I just noticed this dump question on the page:

But why should semen have such an effect? "It makes no sense to me for this phenomenon to have evolved," says Satoshi Kanazawa, an evolutionary psychologist at the Indiana University of Pennsylvania. But Gallup counters that men whose semen promotes long-term mood enhancement might have more chances to indulge in sexual activity.

Well, DUH! One word, PMS. Women are most fertile right before they get their periods, which is also when they get PMS. And what would be a better cure for PMS than a sperm filled with soothing hormones? I suppose the cave men knew this, so whenever the woman got cranky, they'd fuck their brains out so she'd just the fuck up for a while. And when this was the time when the woman was in her most fertile state, so kids would be expected. It's all part of mother nature's plan to get us breed like rabbits.

Dove shampoo is crap

My hair just doesn't stay clean when I wash it with Dove shampoo. The shampoo is made for "normal and oily hair", and my hair is oily. Like my skin... 21 and I still have zits, jesus. I have to wash it everyday if I use Dove.

Another thing what pisses me off are the dove women. Or mainly the commercial. Im pretty sure I could sue the commercial in Finland where the Dove women show off their "buddha belly", "love handles" and "bubble butt". The commercial is misleading because it makes you think that Dove removes those flaws. And according to Finnish law, misleading commercials are illegal. Or that's what I remember from law class.

Right. That was boring so next time im going to blog about shit eating. Stay tuned.

Looks like the spambots don't like me anymore. Anyway, here's a link:
http://member.newsguy.com/~shpxurnq/barney.html

Your guess is just as good as mine.

Heroes and cowards

Warning. Incoming philosophical rant.

Here's my claim of today; heroes are a society's cannon fodder, while cowards are important members of the society.

Let's think what being a hero means. A hero is one who is always protecting the small and weak, or the whole society. A hero is a person who will stop a bullet from hitting an old man by jumping on it's way, a hero is a person who fight against the enemy of his or her society. A hero is a person who is willing to give his life for greater good.

There are some genetic heroism in all of us. A man will protect his wife with his life, and men usually fight in the army. This is solely because women are more important to the society than men. It's always better to have 20 women and 5 men in the society, than having 20 men and 5 women. Because women are baby makers. One man can breed with thousands of women in his life, and have many babies. Women can breed with many men too, but they can only have so and so many babies. But this is all normal. Women take care of the children, that's their genetic job. Man's genetic job is to protect them both. So, when im speaking of heroes, im no talking about this genetic heroism.

Now let's think what kind of person a hero would be. A hero would have to have certain psychological and enviromental conditions. To protect the whole society, the hero wouldn't have a family. Otherwise the genetic heroism would kick in. A hero's job is to protect the weak, so he can't have any other job. The hero would probably feel rootless, out of place. We all want to have a place in the world, so hero tries to earn this place as a protector. You ain't a hero if you make your own rules and ideals of good and evil. A hero would have to follow the society's rules and ideals of good and evil. He or she would be a brainless zombie, a puppet, controlled by the society. Of course, he's willing to give his life for the society's ideals, otherwise wouldn't be a hero. He'd be a coward. Heroes are usually men, like in the movies. This is because they ain't baby makers.

Now, let's imagine the following scene. There's a bad guy, an enemy of the society, aiming his gun at a coward, say, an old and poor farmer. The bad guy has only one bullet in his gun. There are many others around them, who are too afraid to do anything. The farmer is a coward, he doesn't want to die. So, he calls out for the hero! And there he comes! The bad guy sees this, and fires his weapon at the farmer. Without hestitation, the hero jumps infront of the bullet, and dies. The bad guy doesn't have anymore bullets, so he flees.

Now let's rewind to the moment when the hero decides to jump infront of the bullet. What the hell is going on this guy's mind? It's a poor, very old man without any family, nobody would care if he died! The only logical explanation is that the hero feels that the old poor farmer is more important to the society than he is. Although he's old and poor, and would probably die tommorrow anyway. It's the hero's job to protect the old and poor, right? That's what the heroes are for! So even the old and poor wouldn't feel like the carbage of the society, because they know that there's always someone below them... The hero himself. That's why everybody likes heroes.

But how come the others around the farmer and killer didn't do anything? Because they're cowards. Because they are wise and they know that they're more important than the old farmer. No way that say, a businessman would save the farmer. Or a mother of five. Those are important members of the society. But the hero isn't. He's the human shield, easily controlled idiot. A replacable machine.

BUUUUUUUUUURP!

I couldn't think of better topic. Anyway, you know Big Brother TV show? Well, who wouldn't... Here in Finland they have made a Finnish Big Brother show! Oh yeah. We like to finnishize all the bad examples of the United States. The TV shows are on the plate now. We have finnish Survivors and Wife Swapping too. The former is a good TV show, only that after the American Survivors and the Swedish Survivors, the Finnish Survivors sounds a little bit of too repeating. Sap and fatboy both follow Survivors. But I think they have filled even their quota with the constant bombering of Survivors. Finnish Wife Swapping just doesn't work. We are way too adaptive, submissive and open minded. In other words, complete opposites of the Americans. Even after the husbands have gotten their wives back, and they all sit around the table discussing about each other's family, they're all like "Ooh, it was just nice to see different kind of family! We might not work like you people do, but each on their own!" And the husbands are like "Hell yeah it was nice to see a prettier face than my wife's! Wait, you are going to edit that part out, right?"

So in other day, I was watching the Finnish Big Brother. After ten minutes I groaned in pain. I couldn't BELIEVE why some people are hooked on that shit. Don't they have lives on of their own? Why to watch how people live, I mean come on. I hated American Big Brother, and I hate Finnish Big Brother even more! It was like watching Goatse guy's ass each day... Which gave me an idea. If the show is really so popular (and it is), why don't I just scan my ass each day and post it on the 'net? Then people could see how my ass would look each day, and spot the differences. You could, for example, count my asshairs and make a note that I have lost one during the night. Or if I should wipe it better. Certainly better waste of time than Big Brother.